B-day Wishes

Happy Bday to Uni ....

Sometimes, But Not Always ...

I want to take a bat to my .........'s face!!!

Do You Believe 2 = 1?

Thm: 2 = 1

Proof:
Let a = b (a & b are intergers).
Then, a^2 = ab (multiplying a to both sides).
Then, a^2 + a^2 - 2ab = ab + a^2 - 2ab (adding a^2 - 2ab to both sides).
Then, 2 (a^2 - ab) = a^2 - ab (grouping terms).
Then, 2 = 1 by dividing (a^2 - ab) to both sides.
Thus, 2 = 1. MTFBWY

Bored This Weekend?

Have nothing to do? Don't fret ... The 2006 Sex Expo @ the Colorado Convention Center will keep you plenty busy! Between passion parties, the 2006 Sex Show and other fantasy-come-true events, you'll have plenty to talk about on Monday. Learn more here! The Expo begins on Friday (2/24) and ends on Sunday (2/26). Nothing like going to a Sex Expo after Sunday church ... bung!

Polls Are Open

Who's your favorite CTU agent?
	Chloe O'Brian
	Edgar Stiles
	Tony Almeida
	Curtis Manning
	BAUER
	Other
Courtesy of Pollhost.com

What Is Your Anime Self?

I AM ....

Have All US Presidents Taken Calculus?

Have they? The question arose in my number theory class last Friday. A student shouted, "Yeah! They all must have!" Our professor replied, "Don't be so ignorant!" How many US President's have taken calculus!? Google didn't provide any solid answers ... but I'm sure it's out there. I would guess not many but we all know that Hoover and Carter definitely did; Hoover and Carter being the only 2 US Presidents with engineering backgrounds. I'm confident that they went as far as DiffEq and Linear Algebra. But what about Bush ... or Kerry ... or Quayle? I went to the trusty magic 8-ball for the answer ... 8-ball says, "I have my doubts!" So there you have it ... its a sure bet that most US Presidents have not taken Calculus in their careers ... then again, who needs calculus when you've got science advisors on payroll.

HU$TLE & P.I.M.P.

HU$TLE has been added to my favorite TV show list ... just below LOST; HU$TLE is the newest TV series on AMC, aired Wed nights at 11:30 p (MT). The show includes actors Robert Vaughn, Adrian Lester and my new favorite British actress Jaime Murray, who plays the role of Stacie Monroe ... a sexy, hot and sexy hot con-artist. Provided my recent life situation ... the question is, "Which is a more life fulfilling profession?"

A) Professional Gambler
B) Professional Golfer
C) Con-artist
D) Student
E) P.I.M.P. Executive

At one point in my life, I would definitely voted E. Then after the 3rd event that we hosted, I realized that the corporation (if it even can be considered as a corp.) was a genuine con conspired by our closest of friends to host "the greatest parties" on earth for them and them only. COMP, COMP, COMP, oh and you're COMP too! So now, it's all about being a con-artist. Long con, short con, con-air, con-con ... I'm all about it ... cons are good, cons are good!

In this week's Hustle episode ... the quote that stuck with me was, "You give somebody something for nothing. So now, they think they got something. Eventually, they give you more for nothing and they still think they got something." It's not exact ... but you get the point.

But the bottom line is ... I (heart) Jamie Murray! It's probably the accent or maybe it's her slender body with those luscious ta-tas. Nah ... it's the accent. Move out da way Angelina ... I (heart) Jamie Murray!
Height: 5'7" (can you picture it now?)
DOB: Oct. 27, 1977 (whattaya know ... guess who's older?!)
Father: Billy Murray
Mother: Probably a MILF!
Relatively Recent News: Jamie was up for the lead role of Wonder Woman (2007). Cross your fingers ... I'm hoping to get the role of the Invisible Man ... hardy har har!!!

Valentines Day

I tried to come up with many creative ways of expressing my love for friends and family on this year's Valentines Day. I went through many, many ideas ... but none seemed to prove worthy of such an important day. What to buy ... what to make ... what to steal ... I mean borrow! Being broke didn't help either ... not much you can buy with a dollar! Oh but if you play roulette ... nevermind! But then I realized ... I don't really have to give anything to anybody on Valentines ... it's not a real holiday ... just a scam for retail stores to make more money ... damm you Things Remembered! But then I realized its a day about love ... and I get mad love from porn ... I mean ... I get mad love from my friends and family. So ... on this Valentines day ... this is my gift from me to you ...

IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS!!!

Don't Call It A Comeback

Looking around the lab today, I found most students looking for vacation deals to warmer climates. But for me ... Vegas is the answer. After my first night in Vegas last week I made a mental note to return sometime in March. This was probably my first mistake this past weekend. Regardless, the plan is in motion and there's no turning back. I'm taking em back ... I'm taking em' all back!!! Its been quite a task finding the best rates on flights and hotels ... but so far Southwest's internet special from Denver is in the lead along with a 4 night stay at Sahara ($54 each night).

Looking back on last weekend ... I truly believe that there is a direct relation between which hotel you stay at and how well you do gambling. I'll be honest ... the motel we stayed at this past week really got my spirits down ... I give credit to Darwar as he appeared unaffected. Even a couple glasses of wine didn't do the trick for me. I'm confident that staying at Sahara's will get me going ... for another 4 hour tourny session. River biotch!!!

Another LV Story

Anytime you vacation in Las Vegas you always come back with a story ... but you don't always come home with loot. As usual, I was broke when I arrived home yesterday. We left last Friday morning for LV ... Southwest really does have the best deal ... $140 roundtrip including taxes and fees ... absolutely no frills ... as soon as the plane arrived, docked at the gate and the last person exited the plane, we began boarding for LV ... no cleaning, no restocking ... just get on so we can turn back around ... amazing. We arrived around 1pm on Friday ... and went directly to Budget to pick up the car. For $80 (including taxes and fees) we got a Chevy Cobolt. I've never heard of the model but let me tell you ... this car is the shiznit ... fast, economical, and it'll get you across a four lane highway in no time. Our first stop was In-N-Out for a double-double ... as good as always. So far, so good! Then we checked into our hotel ... really a motel ... a roach motel. The lobby was sleezy ... and so was the front desk lady. Not good, I thought to myself ... there was a sign outside that said Casino ... but all I saw were a few slot machines near the dark bar adjacent to the lobby. My guess why the bar was so dark was so that you couldn't see the blood stains on the carpet ... it was that type of place. We checked in and got into the elevator ... I would of sworn the elevator was going to come right off the cables. We got off the third floor and the smell was nasty ... the type of smell you would find at a hourly rate motel. We got to our room ... my stomach dropped. If I hadn't prepaid ... I would of had no problem sleeping in the car. On the bright side ... we didn't plan on staying in the room much ... but then again when do you ever plan on staying in your room in LV. We headed out to the Bellagio sports book. A friend gave me a couple bucks for the game and I wanted to put some money on the game before I gambled it all ... that was a dumb idea. We get to the schweetest hotel in LV and immediately Darwar heads to the Blackjack table ($10 min). Within 10 minutes he doubled his money ... but decides to continue playing. 15 minutes later he gets up with only $25 more than he started with ... should of, would of, could of! We make our way to the sports book, place our bets and then off to Ceasers to surprise Adrienne. It was good to see her! We said our hellos and made plans for that evening. Shortly after ... we went out looking for a tournament. We found a $60 buy in (freeze-out) at Luxor that started at 8:30 that evening. We registered and got some food. With an hour to kill and a full stomach, I went off to 3 card poker. I bought in for $80 ... and within 10 minutes ... the casino took all. I had $5 in my wallet ... and seeked out a Wheel of Fortune machine. A friend swore by it ... couldn't hurt. I put my $5 in the machine and within 20 minutes ... I won $130. Back to even I thought to myself. I brought Darwar over to the machine and he made an extra $20 on top of the $20 he won on video blackjack. Things were not that bad ... we stopped gambling till the tournament started. Looking around the tournament ... everyone seemed to be a professional. But I was confident that I could take down big pot at least every hour ... they weren't that good. Within the first hour, I went all in ... and who calls ... DARWAR. I couldn't believe it. He called with an A-10 against my A-9. I was dead ... he took it down ... then I was bored. I hoped he would win so that at worst, he would refund me my buy in. I left the tournament and pumped my $100 into Wheel of Fortune ... how stupid does this sound ... why did I put a $100 into a slot machine. Its just not smart. So I did ... and it lasted about 30 minutes. I left the machine and wanted to slit my wrists. Darwar was kicked out minutes later in 8th position ... too bad the pay out structure began at 7th position. He was ticked. Day 1 ended tragically.

Day 2 wasn't any better. We ATM'd another $360 collectively .. hoping to turn it around to gain back our losses from the day before. Not a hard goal to achieve ... but for me ... it didn't happen. I played roulette for about 2 hours. I was doing pretty good, until I put it all on black ... RED ... NOOOOOOOOO! I couldn't believe it ... I wanted to puke all over the table. I picked up my head and found Darwar and Gringrima. We left for Sahara for a 7 pm tournament. Play tight, play tight ... don't make stupid calls ... it repeated in my head as we headed to the tourny. Darwar and myself got through 2 breaks while Gringrima got out shortly after the 1st. During the 8th level, the 4th seat went all in with 20k in chips ... 8th seat calls ... I look at my cards, Q-Q ... I call. We turn over ... and 4th seat had A-7 off suit, 8th seat had suited connectors and my ladies were looking the strongest. The flop comes ... no ace, no seven ... turn ... no ace, no seven, ... river ... no ace, no seven. The dealer yells ... straight ... WHAT. I couldn't believe it ... some how some way, the seven made a straight. I couldn't believe it. I wanted to cry ... somebody kill me please! The prize money came and went ... in the turn of a card. Gringrima and I continued to watch to the tourny as Darwar was till in it. He eventually made it to the final table and placed 9th with a $160 in prize money. But we still went to Denny's for dinner!!!

Super Bowl Sunday arrived ... and I was already broke. I had a few dollars left to bet on a couple parlays ... but they were all super long shots. I put $2 on a 10 game parlay ... to win $1500 ... chances were slim ... but anything is possible in Vegas. We watched the game at a corner bar at Ceaser. The coin toss was my first priority ... I had $50 on tails. When tails hit ... I couldn't of screamed louder. They probably thought I was a Hawks fan ... but really, I was just so happy that I won $50. Maybe my lucks changing ... NOT! My parlay went down the drain when Big Ben ran it in. I was hoping the bootleg would of been a pass but he tucked his head and went for it. Gringrima was stoked ... he placed a $10 be on Ben scoring the first touchdown ... 15/1 ... he was up $150. At halftime, Gringima and Darwar headed to the floor while I continued to watch the game hoping that one of my tickets would pay out. At the beginning of the 4th, there was no hope. I needed about 10 miracles to occur in the next 15 minutes ... it was nearly impossible. 15 minutes later ... I still had $3 in my wallet. Darwar and Gringima felt good about roulette. I followed them to the table ... somehow, someway ... Darwar turned $20 into $300. I coudn't believe it. Gringima found the balls to put $100 on red ... and doubled his money just like that. Darwar ended up leaving with $200 and somehow my $3 was gone. We left the strip around 8ish. We dropped off Gringrima ... he had a meeting the next day and wasn't ready for a late night session. Darwar and I headed up north to meet up with A and her friends. On our way up to the Sante Fe, Darwar and I were trying to come up with a strategic way of getting our money back. The plan ... if we started with $20 ... placed it back and forth on red or black and let it ride five times ... we would end up with $640. That would be 5 bets we would have to win in a row. However, if we placed $20 on a third and let it ride three times in a row, we would end up with $540. Three bets from $20 becomes $540. That was it ... after a few drinks and laughs with A ... we said our goodbyes and headed back to Ceasers. It was on. Darwar spotted me $20 ... and I observed a few spins. I finally made my bet on the mid 3rd. It hit ... $60 in my pocket. I waited one and placed $60 on the mid 3rd. It hit ... $180 in my pocket. One more win to $540. I waited a few and placed it on the mid 3rd again. This was the longest minute of my life. The ball went round and round and the turnstile spun the oppostie direction. 1st third hit ... the rake took it all ... and I was back to zero.

A few hours later we were leaving LV. We check out of sleezy-ville, dumped the car back at Budget and got the airport 2 hours before departure. Darwar stood in line for a cup of coffee at fourbucks while I took my very last 4 quarters and changed it in for a buck. I found a Wheel of Fortunre nearby and put it in. 2 minutes later ... I won $11.25 ... I CAN EAT!!! I took my winnings and bought us breakfast. At least we weren't flying home on an empty stomach. We slept for most of the flight ... I was just glad that I would laying in my bed within the hour and although I had no money left I had some forty-deuce to cheer me up. Its good to be home ... but I'm already planning for my return in late March. LV ... I'm not done with you yet!!!

Taking Bets

If you would like for me to place a bet for you just leave a message at my office and we'll make arrangements. My fee is min. 10% ... $25% if you win. My lines close Sat @ noon. Don't be shy!!!

Head Start

I thought it would be a good idea to get a head start before the big weekend in sin city. Of course ... I was wrong. Vince and I left for Blackhawk this morning for a tournament at the Gilpin ... No Limit Holdem ... $24 buys in ... Freeze Out. Vince went out in the thirties ... jokers beat my A-10 and I left at 26th position. Damm the cards ... then we sat at $2 - $5 limit ... lost $20 over 4 hours plus $20 at deuces wild. Was it over .... thank you come again ... headed to LB's and Foks for another $10 session this evening ... went out 7th ... but kudos to Burton for taking it down. The losing streak has to end ... hopefully 12 hours from now ... $100 on black ... dealer spins ... green ... NOOOOO!!!